R.

Haven't been here lately.
Been studying my ass off for the coming exams.
Please, Biology, have mercy.

I miss buzznet.

How've you been?

-Rachel.
[8] days to Incubus.

THE MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE CONCERT LAST NIGHT WAS AMAZING.
only I wasn't there.

I was in Hong Kong.

So, I missed My Chemical Romance (AND Frank Iero), for:
-a country where Cantonese is the main language.
-pretty awesome shopping.
-a hotel room with a bathroom where the toilet and sink aren't in the same room.
-new Vans.

-restaurants which spell 'welcome' with double Ls and Ms.
-extremely bad air quality.
-clean transport.
-time with friends who have a weird sense of humour.
-a macadamia nut shaped like pacman.(which I eventually ate.)

-troubles with currency conversion.
-my brother, who practically skyrocketed the Hong Kong economy for the next 5 years.
-bad airplane food, but great service and movies.
-jellyfish.

-quality time with my iPod.

and i am totally fine with that.

-yes, the air quality really is that bad.

no, wait, 13 days to christmas?

Blood is thicker than water. (believe me.)

 

 

I think i am ashamed. Ashamed of my government.

They had enforced a law, banning homosexuality. So i ask," what is wrong with homosexuality?" absolutely nothing."what is wrong with our government?" every goddamned thing.

Apparently, exposing your homosexualty could land you in jail. For 2 years.

And on Sunday, a petition which had been circulating around the island would be presented to parliament, repealing the law. 

This is according to Kristen. The most creative girl i have ever met.

She had been going around asking for us to sign the petition. I did. Then Shu Rui, Yiying and i got so inspired that we ran around the whole school, asking for signatures. That landed us in some kinda trouble with the teachers. 

But i am proud of what we'd done. I am proud. 

A walk around the city at 12 midnight is the better than anyone could imagine.

Shu Rui, Yiying and I had the best night of our lives. One holding a camera, one with an ice cream, and one with an eye out for the first Starbucks we see. Walking along a long stretch of brightly lit malls, in our seasoned Chuck Taylors, worn out t-shirts and our most comfortable pair of ripped jeans.

We kept silent for about half of the stroll. Completely silent. Heading for the glass cone way ahead of us. I just felt completely at ease in the presence my two best friends in the world that i guess we were just communicating through the silence. The silence was finally broken by Yiying's humming of 'Fix You'. From then on, dozens of pictures were taken and our smiles were plastered on the small screen of the digital camera. Traffic was pretty non-exixtent at that hour, and we carried on walking, running, and to some extent, prancing. When a large starbucks sign loomed into view.

The 7/11 employees sitting on the stairs on their cigarette breaks, and weird men dressed in black with heineken bottles glued to their hands looked at us curiously, and yet, disapprovingly, as if three fourteen-year-olds aren't allowed to be out this late. But we didn't give a fuck what they thought, or how they felt. We were having the most fun that we ever had, and they could swallow their cigarettes and shove the glass bottles up their asses for all we cared.

So we strutted down the last stretch of pavement, our heads dizzy with joy, our hearts beating doubly fast, our smiles plastered on our faces, our feet slowing, for fear that when we reached Starbucks, it will all be over.  We didn't want it to end. No, none of us wanted it to end, yet, our craving for Starbucks overpowered us, and we quickened our pace again.

And that's when we eventually reached Starbucks, ordered our frappucinos, hailed a cab, and got our asses the hell out of the city. 

I love you guys.

(Appreciate it, i'm not going to repeat that again.)

Right, so i've been tagged to do this by Rachel. And it sucks cos i'm not very interesting.

Well, here goes then.

Fact One:

I am, lactose intolerant. well, not really. I can eat cheese (thank god..), chocolate (still thanking.) and uhh, butter. I just can't drink milk of any sort. Oh, and crabs. I can't eat crabs. It's not like they have dairy or anything in them, i'll just break out in rashes.

Fact Two:

I have anger management issues. I seriously do. The trigger to my rage is ultra sensitve. And people think that because of that, i need to get analysed. I'm not going to a shrink. Full stop.

Fact Three:

I have swallowed iodine solution before. It wasn't nice. At all. My teacher said something. I didn't listen. I got diarrhoea. I still haven't found out if starch was present in me. (LyK, d'Uhh, cuzz i Lyk toTallY lyK, digested iT. lYk, omgggggzzzzzzz.) 

Fact Four:

I believe in magic. (yeah, poke fun, whatever.) I just believe that, i am still young enough to believe, but old enough to understand, and comprehend the mysteries of it all. (okay, maybe not just yet.)

Fact Five:

I secretly love Mean Girls, and frequently quote from it. ("Regina George is a scum-sucking road whore, she ruined my life."-janis ian. the wise.)

Fact Six:

I like to make up unrealistic situations in my head then force myself to react accordingly. (If you do the same, please, put your hands up in the air, and "wave em like you just don't care".)

Fact Seven:

I hate public toilets. I always try to avoid going to one. Unless i can't take it anymore, then i don't have any other choice, now would i? -sigh.

Fact Eight:

I think i'm losing hair, but that's just me.

Sorry this took so long. I wasn't able to sign on to buzznet for awhile.

Hallelujah, Lock and Load.(baby!)

I have finally decided.

I will shave my head next (or, the year after.) for the cancer society.

If it's to get donations, anything.

But i will, trust me.

(and for all you xXsceneXx people out there.) 

don't gasp.

Hair's just hair.

It's gonna grow back anyway.

(i think i'd look good bald.)

Thank you and goodnight.

the more universally aware you are,

the more your heart aches to save us.

(well, maybe not you, eleanor. lol)

Please, if you DO pray,

pray for the korean hostages.

Their lives matter.

It may get taken away from them

with the squeeze of a trigger.

Please.

 

I'm gonna do just what you order me to do
So chase me chase me,
I'll run twelve circles around you.

Right.

I tag whoever, to post a comment, about the best day of your life, EVER.

(so i can feel sucky about mine.)

Mine: March the third. Max Pavillion. 

I give up on Science. meaning that i gave up on SingFest.

(byebye, ticket. i hardly knew you.)

shame.

 

 

 

 

I've a feeling you don't know what you're capable of.

And you're just not willing to find out. WHY?

because you're afraid? because you're scared of what people may think of your liberation?

Breakthrough the chains that are binding you from that freedom, the ones that you forged for yourself. 

Why the heck am i speaking in the second person?

It's been a lifetime, 

a life time we've waited for.

A simple question kid,

'Are you with me or not at all?' 

When asked if kids today are arrogant, Gabe Saporta of Cobra Starship responded:

'There's a huge sense of entitlement that permeates our entire culture. The issue of our economic and sociological indulgence begs a much larger question: How happy are we as a society? We should be much happier now than we were during, say, the 50s. But we are one of the unhappiest civilisations in history. We may have more comfort and "stuff" than before, but we also have more neuroses, depression and anxiety. We're bombarded with so many images, ideas and noise that we've become desensitized to anything and everything. Everything we want is immediately available to us, but nothing that we want is what we need.' 

It's not untrue. Don't you think?

Wake up, there's no snooze button on this clock.

MUSE + MCR + WEMBLEY = AMAZING. (18.06.07)

 

Fall Out Boy's new video is out. and patrick's a cathead.

I was walking into the psychiatrists office when I met him
He was sitting there, looking cute
He had schitzophrenea
He was rich, he became my best friend
My boyfriend wasn't happy that I always hung out with him
Cause he became obsessed with me
He pretended to take a lot of pills to scare me
So I went to his penthouse in his hotel and stayed with him
Despite my boyfriends objections
He held a gun to my head and threatened to kill me if I left him there
I put him in a mentally crazy hospital and my boyfriend left me
For another girl who looked like Norah Jones because I'm a loser.

UTTERLY BRILLIANT.

 

DOMHOWARD, AND HIS HOT PINK PANTS LIVE AT WEMBLEY.

BALANCE. it's what i need right now between music, studies, sports, all that jazz. grades are going down the tube. music is distracting me from everything. got to focus. 

I don't even know what i'm talking about. but i know i can't continue with my present lifestyle. it's screwing up my future. ohwell.

HELP?

currently: preparing for hell, loading up my freezer for the trip. 

watch out for CFCs. turn off your A/Cs.

 

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE AND FUNERAL FOR A FRIEND ARE COMING.

HECK YEAH.

(I PREDICT A LOT OF PLEADING AND TEMPER-THROWING IN THE NEAR FUTURE.) 

OH, AND I NEED 'TALES DON'T TELL THEMSELVES'.

I don't like the awkward silence, between you and your parents.

I don't like rain, when you've just arrived at the beach.

I don't like friendships treated as if they were the treaty of versailles.

I don't like giving an awesome speech then falling on your face.

I don't like doors that can't be slammed when you're angry and wanna make a powerful exit.

I don't picking up calls which aren't for you.

I don't like flipping a coin to determine my fate.

I don't like apologising when i know i'm right. And i'm not going to, anymore.

7 days to my birthday.

7 years ago, i had my first serious injury.

7 days ago, i was in deep shit with my parents.

7 hours ago, i was asleep.

7 mins ago, i was typing the above sentences.

7 seconds ago, i was seven seconds younger.

You don't need a map if you have GPS.

 

WILL YOU, WILL YOU REALLY?

you promised me not to. we pinky swore.

'yeah, i know, slitting is for LOSERS.' she said. you freaking hypocrite.

and yet, you did it. why? don't do this to yourself. and over a breakup? are they really worth you suffering both inside and out?

i love you, mate, and this has to stop. self mutilation is definitely not the answer. you can break their heads for screwing you over, but not scar yourself forever.

how long do you think you could hide the wounds? how long do you think i will remain oblivious to your misery? how do you expect to solve your problem with a penknife or a razor? it's not going to happen. and i'm not a fool.

put the knife down, and keep your sanity, for christ's sake.

you know how warped and sad human beings have become?

well, let me tell you.

i was waiting at the bus stop, for well, a bus. and then bus 135 came, so this dear woman, who was crossing the overhead bridge, saw it and rushed down to catch it. and her hands were full of grocery bags. she managed to catch it, but unfortunately, a bag of carrots fell. no one at the bus stop stopped her to tell her that she had dropped the carrots.

then, the bus left. everyone went back to their own business, leaving the carrots lying there, on the ground near the alighting point and the road. as i was about to leave my seat to go pick it up, and dispose of it, a bus came, so i went back to my seat cos it was dangerous. a woman who alighted from that bus saw the carrots and picked them up. i thought she was going to throw them away, being a good citizen. instead, she put them in her bag, and walked away.

god, i was fucking shocked. i mean, what the hell? it's on the ground, it's gross, and probably smells of exhaust fumes. it was unbelievable. the other people at the bus stop started snickering and well, i was just disgusted.

it just proves what we've become. we've lost all sense of civilisation and have become crude, disgusting sad cases. and the above is a perfect example.

DOMESTICATION IS UNACCEPTABLE IN THE NEW WORLD, IT SEEMS.

driven past the old school and saw it semi demolished. and just like that, an itty bitty piece of my heart has been demolished along with it. all the laughs, all the tragedies, all the triumphs. that school was more than stupid neoprints inserted in your wallet. first taste of singapore, first failure, first rebellious streak.

the four walls of education that i used to hate, are now gone. the bullshit mottos written on the walls, gone. the chapel we spent time praying in, gone.

i guess they're right: no matter how much you've changed, the memories remain. and now i miss them all; amanda, yvonne, the warped souls i've met there, the stupid jukebox we tried to dismantle, all of it.

but it'll always be:

SIMPLE DANS MA VERTU,

FORTE DANS MON DEVOIR.

Simple in virtue,

Steadfast in duty.

(corny i know, but you don't know how much i love it.)

 

 

 

 

stop bawling your eyes out, cos the tears ain't working anymore.

it's easy, really, so i'll put it plainly:

you get yourself into it, then fucking get yourself out of it.

go ahead, i'm not going to fight you. take the first punch.

show the world what a real bitch you are.

that's right, open fire.

Sorry hon, but this ain't sunset boulevard.